Identity Formation II

Identity Crisis

Identity Crisis is a state of confusion about who I am regarding self and the greater community.  Most teenagers navigate through defining their identity without any hiccups.  Some may not experience any confusion at all. 

However, Identity Crisis is still a common phenomenon in our fast-paced world.  Different value systems and role models are vying for our young people’s attention in this pluralistic society.  Young people will incorporate preferred aspects of values and examples into their own identities.  They will test out and experiment before committing to some sort of identity.  For young people growing up in a secure and trusting environment, the identity formation is consistent inside out. 

There are four observable outcomes and processes of an identity crisis:

1.    Teenagers who have explored enough and have committed to a certain identity for the time being. 

These teenagers seem to be content and happy with their choices.  They seem adjusted in making small explorations and well balanced in developing significant commitments.  Parents can celebrate with them each step of the way.

2.    Teenagers who have not explored much and remain noncommittal to any identity

These youngsters may keep shifting in who they want to be and are easily influenced by peers and others.  Parents can encourage their children to explore more and try different achievable and manageable things for developing a sense of accomplishment.

3.    Teenagers who have been exploring but have not committed to any particular identity

This group may continue to be in a state of not fitting the norm, not committing to any groups or professions.  They have their ideals and preferences but not ready to commit yet.  They may be quite independent and may seem to be rebellious.  Parents may listen more and understand where their dreams and aspirations lie.

4.    Teenagers who have not been exploring but are highly committed to a certain role and identity. 

These teenagers may appear very compliant, following the footsteps of their predecessors.  Since they have not explored much about their preferences early on, a midlife crisis may appear later in life and become a time to discover themselves.  While growing up now, parents may give them more room to explore and encourage them to voice their own opinions.  This is important for them to develop their own identity, voices, preferences, and directions in life. 

In short, the ABCs in fostering stronger identities among our daughters:

Affirming their exploration:  We can give them room to try, to test, and to experiment.  We guide, cheer, and support them through the process.

Believing in their choices:  We can see the good out of their choices and trust that the natural consequences will take its course of providing feedback to learn the limitations and realities of life.

Celebrating their commitments:  Enjoy their baked goods; pick up and send off as they volunteer in community projects; Give small gifts and praises.